The Plug Has Been Pulled

It’s official!  I finally pulled the plug on my 35+ year career with the City of Saint Peter and I am now officially retired.

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotions wound around administering my final election and while both of those issues were fraught with stress and second guessing myself, the election actually took much of the pressure off the upcoming retirement.  There are hundreds of tasks, much of them last minute, involved in elections and if you throw in a bunch of our already short roster of Election Judges pulling out at the last minute, the pressure was even more than usual.  With little time spent at my desk, there was little time for well wishers to stop in to chat about the upcoming last day.  For someone who dislikes the spotlight that was a good thing.

When my last day finally arrived, I had hoped for a quiet exit, but that was not to be.  Friends made sure everyone knew what day it was with decorations on my office door and as the gifts and flowers and phone calls and emails started even before I arrived, it left no doubt that something big was going on in the office.  Before I realized it, I was smiling and laughing and dare I admit it… enjoying myself.  The accolades being directed my way were certainly nothing that any other City employee with the same tenure deserves and while it all made me uncomfortable, there was a part of me deep down that knew my absence would leave a hole in the organization, at least for a little while.

That’s where the emotions came in for me.  Throughout my entire career I have scheduled vacations, days off and even medical procedures and all other types of absences around the things that I was responsible for at work. Elections, Council meetings, preparation of packets for Council meetings, and all the post-Council meeting duties were all something that while others could have done, were my responsibility and I needed to make sure they got done and done to my exacting standards.  That was the work ethic I was brought up with.

Almost a thousand Council meetings and twice that in packets for every business meeting and workshop of the Council; over 10,000 resolutions, hundreds of ordinances; a thousand sets of minutes; 1,400 weekly newsletters; almost 60 elections; training for 3,000 or more Election Judges; untold employee recruitment processes; hundreds of Councilmembers and their unique and sometimes difficult personalities (although thankfully, that didn’t happen too often); and three very distinct City Administrators were all part of my tenure with the City.  It’s daunting to look back at the amount of work that was actually accomplished especially when you throw in recovery from a major tornado and several floods!

But it was my job and while I didn’t know it on my first day, all of that was what I signed up for.  The highs, the lows, the joy and sometimes sorrow of working for the community I love were all part of the package and now, just days post-retirement, I realized that each night I have dreamt of work.  Did I put the Council packet online?  Did I remember to leave notes about how to do this task or that?  Dreaming of work should be behind me, yet it’s not. 

Laying in bed doing a hurkle-durkle this morning (look it up…you’ll enjoy the concept), I remembered that I will still occasionally dream of working in the A&W (you might have to look that up too!), back when I was 16 years old.  Dreams of standing in the kitchen where I started as a cook and exactly what steps I would take to complete a whole line-up of orders.  The smells, the sounds, and even the faces of my co-workers and boss from back then fill the dream.  Maybe it’s normal to dream of times that you enjoyed.  While working for the City was many times not enjoyable, I loved my job and now I have no job and for now at least, I haven’t yet been able to let it go.

Then came another revelation during my hurkle-durkle….I am still not retired.  I am an author.  A dang good author even if I am not Kristin Hannah or JK Rowling yet.  Writing is my job and it has been for years, only now I have the time I need to devote to it.  I can sit at my computer and write whenever an idea strikes.  I can throw boxes of books in my car and participate in promotional events that will help me get to the Hannah/Rowling level of readership.  I now have the time and the freedom to do and experience being a writer in ways I haven’t for over 35 years and all of that will allow me to be a better writer.

As so many of my well wishers have commented both in cards, phone calls, texts or online, I am beginning the next “chapter” of my life and I am certain to be anything but retired.  Will you “read” along as the chapter unfolds?  I can’t wait for you to be part of it!

Thank you for reading along today. Be well my friends!

~BAL