Retirement

Do you remember way back to when you had your first job? Slinging burgers, lifeguarding at the local pool, mowing lawns for neighbors, or even babysitting were popular among the kids when I grew up. For me it was as a cook (and eventually Assistant Manager) at the local A & W restaurant just a few short blocks from my house.

Walking in to apply was intimidating even though I knew the owners, a wonderful couple who went to my church, but Lorraine was a no-nonsense kind of woman and honestly, I was a bit terrified of her. As it turned out, she was the best boss I could have had and between her and my parents, I developed a dedication to my employer and a willingness to work hard for what I wanted in life. It was a trait that would serve me well throughout the next several decades, but that first summer, the decades to come were anything but on my mind.

I suspect it’s that way for many of us when we begin our working lives. Work was for making money so we could buy the things we needed and wanted and for the things we wanted, but didn’t need. Retirement was so far into the future we gave it little thought and yet, when the years passed and our hair became sprinkled with grey, it was something to look forward to with excitement and more than a little dred.

Now I’m here and I’ve walked through the door to the next big change in my life; a change that will leave behind the men and women I spent a third of each day with; many of whom I know better than some family members. It is a time of joy about the freedom that retirement offers yet trepidation as to whether pulling the plug on my working life was the right decision or not. It’s a time when I worry about leaving my employer in the lurch with no one in place to do my job, while at the same time I remind myself that for the first time in my adult life, it is time to put my wants and needs before that of my employer.

I am no longer City employee Barbara Luker. I now am simply Barbara Luker; a woman without the identity I held for almost 36 years. I will become a distant memory whose flowery signature strangers may notice every now and then in official City documents.

I’ll admit that handing in that retirement form did not occur without some serious trembling in my hand and that night I tossed and turned in bed wondering if I could take it back and pretend I had never suggested retirement. But like all major changes, there will be an adjustment period and I am lucky enough to have several friends who have gone through the process in recent years who I can lean on for advice.

What they won’t be able to advise me on is how to become the new me; how to gain my new identity that will no longer be “Barbara from the City”. That’s a path I will walk alone and while it’s scary, I’m also excited!

I hope you’ll come along for the ride my friends!

Be well….

~BAL